Common Parenting Arrangements For Children Up to School Age

Parenting arrangements determine how separated parents share the care and decision-making responsibilities for their child. As family lawyers, we believe these arrangements should always prioritise the child's best interests and safety, emphasising stability, routine, and emotional well-being.

In Australia, the Family Law Act 1975 emphasises that children have a right to a meaningful relationship with both parents, provided there are no safety risks. Parenting arrangements can be informal agreements, formalised Parenting Plans, or legally binding Consent Orders approved by the Family Law Courts.

Common Parenting Arrangements

Shared Care (Equal or Substantial Time with Both Parents)

Shared care arrangements aim to allow children to maintain strong relationships with both parents. However, they generally require a high level of co-operation between parents. Some popular shared care schedules include:

  • 2-2-3 Plan: Monday & Tuesday: Parent A, Wednesday & Thursday: Parent B, Friday to Sunday: Parent A (the next week reverses).
  • 2-2-5-5 Plan: Monday & Tuesday: Parent A, Wednesday & Thursday: Parent B, Friday to Tuesday: Parent A (5 days), Wednesday to Sunday: Parent B (5 days).
  • Week-On, Week-Off: Children spend one full week with each parent before switching.
  • Alternating Weekends + Midweek Visit: Primary parent during the week; non-primary parent has the child every second weekend, plus a midweek visit.

Parenting Arrangements for Younger Children (0-4 Years)

Young children rely on secure attachments and consistent caregiving. Their ability to handle separation from a primary parent depends on their developmental stage. Recommended arrangements by age include:

  • 0-12 Months: Short, frequent visits (e.g., 2-3 times per week for 1-3 hours).
  • 1-2 Years: Gradual introduction to longer daytime visits (up to 8 hours) with a trusted routine.
  • 2-3 Years: Introduction of overnight stays if the child has a secure attachment to both parents.
  • 3-4 Years: Up to a few consecutive overnight stays per week, depending on the child's adaptability and needs.
Key Considerations for Young Children:
  • Breastfeeding: If the child is still breastfeeding, time arrangements can accommodate feeding schedules.
  • Consistency: Both households should maintain a similar routine for naps, meals, and bedtime.
  • Gradual Transitions: Sudden or extended separations from a primary caregiver can cause distress.

Key Factors to Consider When Creating Parenting Arrangements

Age and Developmental Needs

When determining parenting arrangements, it's crucial to consider the child's stage of growth and development. Younger children often benefit from frequent but shorter visits with each parent to maintain a sense of security. As children grow older, they generally have a greater capacity to handle longer periods away from each parent, allowing for extended stays or weekend visits. Tailoring the schedule to fit a child's developmental milestones fosters a sense of stability and supports their emotional and psychological wellbeing.

Parental Conflict

In situations where conflict between parents is high, it's important to focus on reducing children's exposure to tension or hostility. Strategies such as neutral drop-off and pick-up locations, or scheduled handovers can help create a safer, more predictable environment for children. Minimising confrontations not only lowers stress levels for everyone involved but also ensures the child's relationship with both parents remains as healthy as possible.

Practicality

Parenting schedules should align with the reality of each family's circumstances. Factors such as each parent's work commitments, the distance between households, and the child's school or extra-curricular schedule all play a role in determining a practical arrangement. Ensuring that transportation, time availability, and household logistics are manageable on a day-to-day basis helps create stability and reduces the likelihood of last-minute complications.

Consistency and Routine

A predictable structure is particularly important for younger children, who thrive on routines that provide a sense of security. Consistency in meal times, bedtimes, and overall daily activities can ease the transition between two homes. Establishing shared rules and similar expectations across households can further support a cohesive upbringing and help children feel less unsettled when moving from one environment to another.

Emotional Wellbeing

Above all, the emotional needs of the child should remain the top priority when creating parenting arrangements. Children should never feel as though they are in the middle of ongoing disputes or responsible for mediating between parents. By maintaining open communication, offering reassurance, and prioritising the child's sense of safety, both parents can foster an environment where children feel loved and supported, regardless of changes in the family structure.

Challenges and Considerations

Managing High-Conflict Situations

Conflict between parents can negatively impact children. Strategies to reduce conflict include:

  • Using a Parenting Coordinator or Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) services.
  • Keeping communication child-focused and professional (e.g., email or co-parenting apps).
  • Using supervised handovers if necessary.

When Shared Care is Not Ideal

While shared care is right for some families, it may not be appropriate in cases involving:

  • Domestic violence or safety concerns.
  • High parental conflict where co-operation is impossible.
  • Young children who are not yet comfortable with extended separations from a primary parent.

Legal Considerations - the basics at a glance

The Family Law Act 1975 is the cornerstone of family law in Australia. The Family Court of Australia and Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (FCFCOA) handle family law disputes, including parenting matters and the enforcement of Parenting Orders.

Additionally, the Domestic and Family Violence Protection Act 2012 (Qld) and the Child Protection Act 1999 (Qld) may impact parenting arrangements in certain circumstances.

Important: It is crucial to seek legal advice to understand how these laws apply to your specific situation and what parenting arrangements may be most suitable for your family.

If you need legal advice on parenting arrangements, contact Daykin Family Law today, and we can guide you through the process and help create a plan that works best for your child.

Expert Family Lawyers Across Australia

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